Having a break is a double-edged sword. I read books, I sleep more, I run around, I eat more, but I also have a great deal of time to think and I am starting to feel increasingly uncomfortable about where these thoughts are taking me. I hope that as soon as I am back, my busy life will take over again and I will leave these thoughts behind.

I feel wrong-footed, unsure of what I should do next. Maybe it's hard to go back. Maybe the greasy pole is just too greasy. I certainly feel that I have slipped a long way down it. Do I really have the energy to claw my way back up?

I am beginning to feel that I might finally have arrived at the right bus stop just after the last bus has left. I can see its tail lights, but even if I run, I can never catch it.

******

Dear you, I'm here. I'm always here and will always be here. I'm sorry for hiding in my own little shell recently. It's the attacks, you do know what I am referring to, don't you? This afternoon, I felt it again after such a long time (but it wasn't that bad). And I didn't pick up your calls 'cos I was sleeping! Hee. You know you can always drop me a sms, a offline msn message if I don't respond as fast as I should. So sorry once again. Told you my sleeping time is totally screwed. Remember, I'll always be there for you. :)