I can count the number of times I have been to a hawker centre for this year, and it's less than 5. It's too scary. I don't like this change in me. I don't like the part of me not liking the feeling of sitting down in a hawker centre.

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You are right, disappointment is sadder than hatred. Disappointment simply makes you feel nonchalant.

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Sometimes we love someone so deeply, and hope that they love us back the same way too. But we can never be sure, can we? I should be happy, but why am I not? Why do I still fear of the day when happiness will be taken away from me? Why am I so skeptical about LOVE? Why do I go "HAHAHA" when he says he misses me?

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Perhaps we are like two dogs running in circles chasing after each other's tails. We each want something from the other - something we don't have, or something we don't know we have. Perhaps it is something that we want to withhold from the other, something we cannot give away for fear that the chase will end, and the game will be over. At the end of the day, we only realised that the tail that we have been chasing for years, is in fact our very own tails. And so, there's nothing more to run after.

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This is the period of my life that I need to come face-to-face with my own ugliness and insecurities. I need to find more things to love about myself, even if they are faults and imperfections.