The breakup.

Everyone has been through it, at least once. Maybe a few lucky ones out there wouldn't have to. Lucky them. :)

Just when you thought you have gone through all of these:

sobbing to yourself in the middle of the night,

refusing to pick up any calls unless they are from him,

hiding in your room,

telling yourself that you are better off without him,

resisting the strong urge to pick up the phone and call him,

pressing his number on your handphone but ends up not calling him,

counting the number of days you haven't been thinking about him or when the attacks haven't appeared,

regretting your decision to leave him,

trying means to let him know that it is a mistake to leave you,

writing him letters after letters but just don't have the guts to send them out,

showing up at his block and refusing to leave unless he sees you,

slashing your wrist(s) and attempting suicide(!) to make him regret,

and the list just goes on..

A breakup is never easy for anyone. Like many others, I have been through a few. I have heard of so many cases of breakups. What's forever? Nothing? The only thing forever is 'forever' itself. Never seek forever because that is too much to ask for. And precisely because everything ends, that is why there is a purpose behind everything we do. It is never ever easy on the person who gets dumped, just as it is on the one who initiates the breakup. Just because I don't display any emotions that I ought to have doesn't mean I am not. Yeah get it? I may just be the silly fool who cries herself to sleep every night when everyone else is sound asleep.

And just when I have done all the necessary preparations to not feel upset again, a new person might just appear and TADA! At the end of the day, you are so afraid of getting upset once again. It's like a never-ending cycle - you fall, you pick yourself up, and you fall again. And perhaps with each fall, you get more careful. You tell yourself to look out for stones, twigs and things that will make you fall. And with each stone you see in front of you, you walk towards it and what do you do? You make that effort to avoid stepping on it.

Is this how it should be? Perhaps not.