We met up on Friday, after several failed attempts to do so - Me, May and Gillian. Oh, not to mention the changing of the meeting location on the day itself, from Vivo to City hall and finally we settled on Orchard. So fickle we were. Carolyn joined us for dinner too, as well as a little catching up session and well, shopping. Was it pretty obvious that we wanted Sushi Tei? Haha..Perhaps. But dinner was bad for me, and so for Caro too, 'cos of the rawness in the egg used for our orders. Imagine we could see the colourless gooey part of the egg white? I tried to hide it by pushing it further down my bowl, thinking that my appetite would be improved if I didn't see it while eating. What a feeble attempt I must say. Haha..Sushi Tei disappointed me for once.

It was nice meeting up - but well, too short a time perhaps. Not enough for quality shopping. We will meet up soon for the late night shopping yeah? Oh oh, I finally realised how sensitive I am to caffeine. A mild cup of bubble tea - my fav. Peppermint Milk Tea - is enough to make me sleepless the entire night. I finally slept at 6am and it was a very restless sleep. Now I have to avoid tea I guess, to sleep better. You know I can't remember when was the last time I have had a straight 6 hours uninterrupted sleep?

Weariness slowly crept in today. Hmm, I felt happy knowing that though. I slept at 5am last night and woke up at 10 am. Ate and went back to sleep soon after for 2 hours and woke up feeling that I have slept enough for the day. Ate (yes again) and well..I felt sleepy and slept again. Haha..You know how much I crave to be tired? Sounds a little weird but for someone who can't sleep well..I guess it is normal to think like that.

I have been having really weird dreams. Dreams that are really silly, unrealistic and well, some are sad. Today's one was weird. Having a meal with someone's family? And the strangest part of the dream was that I could remember it so clearly. Oh well, if it's true that your dreams are a reflection of your thoughts and troubles, I wish for this trouble of mine to go away, to get out of my mind. Maybe all the while I have been living in denial, telling myself that it just doesn't matter anymore, while at the same time it has been subconsciously playing in my mind.

The quote above contradicts what I have been saying anyway. Am I supposed to be forever haunted by the spirits of the past? If only there is some swift surgery procedure that is able to erase all the ugly memories and mistakes and leave only the fun trips and special holidays, wouldn't it be much easier? But until that day arrives, what should I do? Why do I have to go through this over and over again?

And so, Friday night ended with us at the same place where we last met. Me, May, Gil and SM. It was nice just sitting there and chatting. Just like the good old days. And to be entertained by a stray cat as well. And just like what I have told May, I really do miss those late nights out.

There was this immediate weird sense of loss, when you told me you might be moving. What will happen to all the late night walks that we used to have? Oh man, I miss those days. The cold fresh air we breathe in at 1 am where we will just keep walking, trying of course, to burn more calories contributed by that sinful prata and my fav. milo dinosaur supper. It's all your fault! Always tempting me to go supper with you or more of we always end up eating a lot each time we are out!

That very junction where we will bid goodbye to each other and the safety phone conversation that always follows no matter what. That race to see who will reach home first whenever we try to run to keep fit? I love that merry-go-round that you have brought me to, though that was the first and the last time I have been there so far. The thrill of sitting on it and you pushing it that makes me go "wah!!" for each round it turns. A take to remember our childhood days, isn't it? How I will always remember that very night at the merry-go-round. Are we only less than 3 km apart? Or even closer if you measure it by the linear distance - just that silly hill (or is it that quarry?) that is separating us.

Yes, stayover at your place when you are back! Oh, I can vividly remember that night when I stayed over! Remember the mask we did? The King Kong that we watched till we were so sleepy? Haha..And I am looking forward to the stayover! I love the serenity which your place gives, even though it's only the second storey. I can picture how nice it will be when it rains - the pitter-patter sound of raindrops on your window panes - how crystal clear they will be. Oh, not to forget the few times I actually walked over to your place - I wonder whether it will be possible for the new place. Oh, how about that sinful banana cake you brought over, or that bicycle ride along the road you have travelled just for that jog. And also that steep slope that I dread climbing each time I want to go up to your place. Didn't we say we are going to try to run up that killer slope some day to see whether we will go out of breath? Let's try it shall we?

I'm so silly. I went to streetdirectory.com just to find out how far it will be from Teck Whye to my place. A 5 mins drive, which will - I guess- makes it a 10-15 mins journey for me 'cos of the traffic lights and well, my very slow and steady driving. I guess that comforts me a little. And there is also 985! No more slow and unreliable 176! Not that 985 is any better. Hee. So does that mean we can still walk to the same 176 bus stop at Bukit Batok when we go home late? 'Cos there's 985 there too!

You know, the person who is capable of giving you the greatest happiness always tend to be the one who disappoints you the most. Expecting too much isn't good at all. Sometimes I wonder why do I want to place myself in such a spot - to allow someone to manipulate my feelings. Am I ready for it? And so the same old words:

Despite our own prejudices towards another, we should be reminded that no one really knows what goes on in the privacy of a relationship. It is like a secret society that boasts only two members. I guess it shouldn't be judged on the snippets of information that lands at the feet of the non-members or second-guess by the uninitiated.