People react differently to breakups. Some mope around at home, while others bounce back to life quickly. I was the latter and my social calendar became jam-packed. I prepared a toast to my girl friends and proclaimed, "This is for the men who have us, the losers who had us and the lucky guys who'll meet us!" But amidst all the bravado, it soon dawned on me that no amount of Chardonnay was going to help me accept the fact that I'd been cheated on.

Thus came the next stage, when a wave of depression hit and I inevitably pressed his number, which was still on my speed dial. I swung to the other extreme, begging him to give us one more shot. The dial tone resounded in my ears - he'd hung up on me even before I'd finished wailing. To appear less of a jerk, he sent a text message asking, "Is anything the matter? I'm watching a movie." This effectively translated to, "Hey, I'm with the other girl now. I'm leading my own life and so should you."

After a series of disappointments, I became resigned to the fact that he'd never be my guy again. But just when I felt ready to throw a mini-celebration for having gotten over him, his blinking name on my mobile displaced me. I picked up the phone to hear his gentle voice asking me how I was doing. All the barriers I'd so carefully built up against him during the healing process crumbled. Our past memories flooded me and I went back to wishing he'd call him soon. After waiting by the phone for days, I saw that it was just a one-off call, made during a moment of impulse, probably to ease his feelings of guilt.

Cindy Tan

CLEO September