To see a bicycle in your dream, indicates that you need to devote time to leisurely pursuits and recreation.

Have been clouded with negative thoughts and realized it would not be helpful to be so. I have made a commitment to myself last October when I decided to come over here and I haven't been strong enough to not let it waver and affect me in all sorts. Since it's pointless to be so pessimistic about it, I should embrace what i have and what would be coming and try to make the best out of it, shouldn't I? It's only day 29 since I'm back and I've already begun to miss home. 210 days more to go before I come back for good. Time will go by, like a bullet train. It's 209 and a half day already, isn't it?

Exciting plans coming up for the next few months..Hope everything will come be realized..

7 more months to go if I want to. 6 months and 9 days left to Oct the first. I guess I might be back in late May, for a short stay. A week or so? My mummy is going Taiwan on 1st May.

Quitting might be difficult. How can you leave all your responsibilities behind without a single trace of guilt? I can't. I can't tell my boss that I am not going to continue helping him, when there's no one else available to help him with what I am doing. We're seriously short-handed.

This morning, the message was just so cleared. We are what we are supposed to be and nothing else. Every single trace of ambiguity - with that single act of nonchalance - vanished. With that, I told myself that I should not care so much, too much. For if it's not worth it, I just shouldn't care anymore.

Today's setback #XXXX times. For every setback I've encountered, there will always be this impulse to throw in the towel. To tender and fly back to Singapore, back to my warm cozy room where nothing can hurt me. And it's not exactly helping much when the weather's so inconsistent, getting colder sometimes as the days go by over here. But for every setback I've encountered, I learnt a little more. I learnt when to be tougher, when to speak up, when to keep quiet, when to smoke people, when to act blur, when to not take the blame, when to taiji and not be so stupid to do extra work.

I learnt how to not be myself.

It's only when I reach my apartment, then only can I remove my veil. But I am thankful for that handful of people around. It's them which makes surviving here possible.

Some things are not worth fighting for. It hasn't been an easy struggle so far. You lose some, you win some. Is this the end of everything? With one flick of a finger, a weary nod of defeat, a deafening cry of silence; is this how things should just be?

Aren't we taught to fight for our own happiness, to fight for what we deem as right, to fight for what we want? 'Cos at the end of the day, no one is going to care if you aren't happy. No one, except yourself.








Some things are not worth fighting for; but some are.

and last but not least..................!


















Haha...

I don't know whether it's really a case of stubbornness; but it really takes a lot to convince me that your intentions are genuine. Insincerity speaks. Reluctance too. As much as I tried to believe, every other action of yours tells me a different tale.

Give me a reason to love you, I'll go the extra mile for you. Reasons, excuses and sorrys; or even telling me you're not sorry; perhaps I'm the unreasonable one.

Give me a reason to love you.

I miss those days, those days. I miss every single moment. The late night long bus ride home from Sengkang; the times at HV Coffee Bean; the walk home after sinful supper sessions; the nights spent at the old campus; the night chats at my bbq pit; that year that Christmas too in fact.

It became "IF".

I'm here typing away while there are a couple of documents on hand for me to read before my afternoon grand meeting cum presentation with my big big (read: biggest) boss and some IBM guys..A meeting of which 20 odd people will be attending..I'll be just a small fry representing some systems in the company..haha..Just wish for the day to be over ASAP for me to have a nice korean dinner and to get some sufficient rest..though I've been sleeping way too early nowadays but still feeling very tired..I had a couple of bad dreams last night, some of which are silly and so far-fetched..

Retail therapy sure helps a lot to rid the blues..I bought 2 watches over the weekend..got a super bling bling one..PINK colour..Haha..took pics of it but a little blur..will post them up when I get a better shot..winter jackets are going half the price now and I'm so so tempted to buy but I think I should try to save the $$ 'cos there isn't really a need for new ones..it will cost around 100+ SING after discount..I came here with 2 jackets and now there are 5 jackets hanging in my wardrobe..But it's really worth it 'cos it's half-priced..

No obvious signs of me losing weight YET since my day 1 start of drinking pu'er tea..Haha..probably 'cos I went to the supermarket and bought 1 litre of strawberry yogurt and it's already half-gone..Hee..

I don't know why I'm really tired and sleepy these days..Sometimes I'm not focused during meetings and tend to forget stuff that people told me..

Have I ever mentioned that there are Koreans, Singaporeans + Malaysians, China Chinese and Angmohs working in my company? There's already an angmoh sitting in my office right next to me..Hahah..But too bad I haven't learnt any Korean words yet..Haha..Got more babes here..No cute guys..Not a lot..No eye candies for me to see.. :(

Hmm, I came back here feeling very much in love (and still is).

I hope you feel the same way too.



Going to read my stuff sooon now..

6 Months and 27 Days left - My colleague told me this morning. That's the number of days left to October the first. This time back hasn't been good. Morale is relatively very low, a lot lower actually. Except for the first day, it has been going downhill like never before. Conversations are often quoted with, "If by that time, I'm still here", "Better don't buy that, we won't be here by that time".

It's always those little things which affect us the most. A simple thank you is able to brighten up one's day; a simple compliment too probably, a little more observance perhaps too; a change of nail colour, a new haircut, a new top that looks good on you, a new watch, a new jacket, a new hair colour, a pair of new shoes, a new bag. Why should I put so much feelings into something when I know that someday I will end up getting hurt so badly? Should we be just what we are supposed to be and nothing else?

Let's talk about happier stuff. I bought Pu'er Tea - 80RMB for a whole disc kinda thing. Think that will take me ages to finish it. No more drinking of instant-packed Lipton Milk Tea! Haven't been taking those cups of bubble tea since I am back too! All those add to unnecessary calories..For now, my only indulgence is biscuit and bread with fancy/interesting filling though..haha..oh as well as yogurt! Yogurt is like a big thing in China or something..And it's those full cream kind of yogurt..Super creamy and yummy..Well, Pu'er Tea is supposed to help lose weight! Haha..let's see whether it's true..