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Date : Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Time : 10:30 PM Title : so random.. drank 3 cups of coffee today and i am still feeling very sleepy right now. my final cup of coffee was only at 8pm man..becoming a coffee addict soon..but i won't give up having my starbucks when i am back in sin..hee..
being a coffee addict beats being a smoking addict any time man..one of my colleagues recently started smoking a lot more..he used to tell us that he promised his mum that he wouldn't smoke again..well..most smokers say the same thing don't they.. haven't try smoking before..some day i might perhaps..but i would want to try it out with you-know-who..and not here with my colleagues..remember how i used to be against some people who smoke..i know it's again a matter of choice.. getting very tired every day..exhausted at the end of each day..don't know how much i have learnt each day..trying to put out fires..lessening the workload for george..maybe i can't see my progress yet..quite brain-dead now actually but still here blogging when i can use it for sleeping..but just felt that i need to think about stuff.. been thinking about an issue these few days..going through different what-if scenarios in my mind..haven't come to a decision yet..but well..more or less know what i want..don't know whether i should meet B to get back my stuff cos it's just a matter of time.. should be going back sin soon..a very short stay actually..touch and go kind..actually hoping for 2 weeks but highly unlikely..and 2 days are actually spent on travelling le..sigh.. this time back will feel a little different for me..not saying that i do not really feel like going back but more like..of course there are still things to look forward to..but there are also things which i wish i don't have to face right now..but there's no point in avoiding them.. recently realised that i have grown up a little..just a couple of weeks ago i was trying to not be easily affected by certain stuff such as my roomie..and to actually not be so nonchalant about certain stuff such as work. don't know whether my "detachment" efforts have worked because i realised that there are really certain stuff which i really can't be bothered anymore and it is my nonchalance towards them that actually surprised me. really surprised me at how easily i can get over them or not to get myself affected by them. for example, my colleague asked me how would i react if i happen to see B with another girl. i gave it some thought and replied saying that most probably i won't do anything. he said that i should be gracious about it and go over and say hi. well, i really can't be bothered anymore, at least for now when i am trying to picture that scenario in my mind. can't say how i would react if it really happen la.. my sis told me that there's this sia posting and i should try to apply for it..will think about it..weather's getting colder..need to start wearing jacket already..meaning cannot wear skirt too often to work le..come november it will be all cold again.. found this apartment with 4 rooms..probably going to move in with them if we close the deal with the owner..nice owner who asked us to come along with her to choose the furniture and everything..hee..well..everything will be settled by november.. you know how i always believe in first impression attractiveness aka love at first sight and not those slow gradual liking kinda thing? physical attraction is always a first for me..but well, i have dated a guy whom i wasn't attracted to initially la..so well..but there should always be this FEEL thing you know..like fluttering butterflies in the stomach whenever you think of him or whenever you see him..or heartbeat increasing kinda thing..but now don't have leh..it's more like 日久深情kind leh..moreoever we are abroad somemore..there's always this tendency to fall for people within that close social circle..good to rely on for support mah..but once we get back to sin every magical bit of it will fall apart..is that being too skeptical? Not physically attracted to him leh.. |
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